THOUGHTS: Is Imitation Truly the Best Form of Flattery?
Words: Kat Noel • Sep 30th, 2008 • Category: RANDOMNESS.
Is it truly flattering or hurtful?
A few weeks ago, a friend on the left coast sent out an email sharing with a few of us about recently seeing an Asian woman who wore her hair in a “kinky, curly, afro-looking hair style”. Before our girl revealed her feelings about it, she wanted us to respond with our thoughts and emotions.
“Do you care?” she asked. “Are you flattered?..Do you feel more or less understood?”.
Her questions struck a chord because what she was asking was bigger than just hair. She wanted to know how we feel when people who aren’t part of the African Diaspora replicate and embrace what some of us and society claims as “our’s”, like the ganguros of Japan who were so fascinated with Black youth culture that they darkened their skin in tanning salons and weaved their hair into cornrows to emulate their favorite hip-hop idols.
I thought about the white coworker with blonde locks who swore she could relate to me and my afro since we both were “natural” and how having a year-round tan is now the new craze, while little brown skin girls walk around hating themselves. I remembered the time a friend, who was in the front row at a Roots concert, realized that there weren’t any other Black people in sight, except for her and the ones performing on stage. What do I sincerely feel towards the white guy mouthing every single word off the tracks on Things Fall Apart? How does it all make me feel about myself?
One sister in Harlem, who has been wearing her hair natural since birth and was teased for it, pointed out that, “We spend millions of dollars a year trying to to make our hair like white and Asian [women]. Hell, some even use the Japanese straightening system”, so she can’t get mad at someone who doesn’t identify as Black wanting to make their hair look kinky, especially when it seems, to her, that because our hair texture is becoming trendy with other races, more Black women feel comfortable being natural. What does get her upset is when we don’t take an active interest in our own culture and when who we are becomes trendy and other people take credit for it.
A sister from Brooklyn jumped in and shared that she wasn’t feeling any of it, stating that, “Everyone should just embrace what God gave them and be the most beautiful THEY can be, instead of trying to be something else”.
Once we all sounded off, the sister in Cali let us know how she felt: “…I don’t like seeing non-black folk wearing black hairstyles because to me, you are appropriating something that means a lot to me. Something that myself and people before us have worked hard to embrace and help become the “norm.” So for you, non-black person, to come and take my hairstyle and become an acceptable image of blackness without embracing all of the OTHER ish that comes with being black (oppression, anger, hurt, frustration, micro-aggressions, etc)… get out of here with that. It’s like Paul Mooney said, ‘Every body wants to be a n—-a, but nobody wants to BE a ni—a’.”
What truly makes a culture and does cultural dissemination and appropriation do more harm than good?
Kat Noel is a true rolling stone, who believes everyone has a story to tell and never leaves home without paper and pen. She’s hoping that Square Rootz is her meal ticket out of the country.
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AMAZING PIECE KAT!!!! I love, love, LOVE it!
Here’s my take: The bottom line is everything people of color do becomes trendy the next second. We are the trend setters and “taste makers” of this society. I hate the fact that non-black folks think it’s okay for them to take all the glory and leave all the pain. I hate the fact that they even have that luxury. But to some extent, I blame us. We continue to allow big corporations (record labels, fashion designers, Burger King) to export images of us and our culture and we sell that image to the highest bidder, instead of keeping it in the family.
For me, it’s far from flattery. More and more, I feel like, nothings sacred. .. not even my nappy hair.
Amen Marly. I completely agree; however, I don’t blame us for the appropriation of our culture. If we had more power, and a stronger position, and if we weren’t the victims of so many horrifying events, I might be able to. But in a space where our men (just a quick example) are bred to be fighters, controlled by a “commissioner” and watched by millions of people who “hate us” in arenas and on Sunday afternoons, all while wearing a uniform, and making a living that is, for many, the only hope of getting out of the situation that we were thrown into in the first place, it is hard for me to blame anyone. Frustration, hell yes…but blame, no.
I do blame these culture vultures for making a quick buck out of my people, but I’m not surprised. To add insult to injury is to wear my culture on your head, your chest, in your ipod, and think that now you are “socially just” and “down.” And that since you are now multi-cultural and you have a black bf/gf it somehow means that WE as a society are “moving forward.”
I too feel like my naps ARE sacred, and beautiful, and it makes me sick to see people who don’t understand that beauty to the level I do, wear it and think we share a common bond.
i feel like its more than just a hairstyle
its….being at peace with yourself.
embracing your blackness in every possible way & not being apologetic for it.
i’m not feelin that
sure its great that people are more open but… certain things are sacred to different cultures.
like you said, it goes beyond just the hairstyle…it speaks to our history.
I agree with everyone. Too many people are trying to make trends out of different aspects of Black culture and it’s offensive. (Check it: American Apparel is now selling African print dresses: http://clutchmagonline.com/newsgossipinfo/american-apparel-turns-afrikan/). It’s the same with non-Black folks using the N-word (for the record, I don’t even like it when I hear Black people saying it). People have no history of what the word means yet nowadays it’s more popular than the word homie. Drives me crazy!
Oh! And growing up in the hood does not make you Black or give you a pass to call folks N****A.
That’s all.
QUOTE:”What does get her upset is when we don’t take an active interest in our own culture and when who we are becomes trendy and other people take credit for it.”
That statement pretty much sums up my feelings with a dash of Paul Mooney sentiment mixed right in! LOL
GREAT ARTICLE AND DISCUSSION!